For many of us, the year 2020 brings promise. Perhaps we’ll elect a new leader; perhaps we’ll finally get in shape; perhaps we’ll find a satisfactory job; perhaps we’ll meet our soul mate.  Some of us, however, are reminded that a new year means we’re aging: we’re rappelling the downside of the mountain.  We’re all getting older, but are we getting better?

The Multitasking Myth

As we age, the ability to multitask diminishes.  Because research points to the myth that multitasking makes one more productive, this loss isn’t much of a loss after all.  Multitaskers just think they are being more productive but, what studies show is that they’re unable to filter irrelevant information, don’t perform optimally at any one task and burn out faster.

The urge to do two or three things at once is appealing.  We mistakenly believe we’ll be more efficient if we respond to emails while holding a conversation or make dinner while helping our kids with their homework.  The problem is our brains are wired to monotask, not multitask.  When doing two or three things at once, nothing gets done well.  Ever re-read those emails you sent while you were multitasking?  Chances are the recipients had no idea what you meant to say.

I’ve omitted critical ingredients in recipes while holding conversations.  Neither task was performed well. I can recall hardly listening at all while trying to remember what ingredients go where and in what order. As Zen teacher, author and cook, Edward Espé Brown wrote: “When you wash the rice, wash the rice; when you cut the carrots, cut the carrots; when you stir the soup, stir the soup."  

Rather than cultivate one’s ability to juggle multiple tasks at once, what is of supreme value is our ability to handle complex problems and this doesn’t necessarily diminish with age.  Being able to use our experience and smarts to solve problems is sometimes called “learning agility.”  Today’s challenges require flexibility and focus, which we can fine tune at any stage of life.

Future Fear

Losing one’s “edge” isn’t the only worry we have as we age.  If you worry about what the future holds for you in terms of your health and wellbeing, you’re not alone. Unfortunately worry doesn’t always lead to planning.  A vast majority of us are in denial about aging even when facing the Grim Reaper. 

Many of us don’t plan for our retirement, don’t plan for our declining years, and don’t plan for our death.  In fact, most people don’t have a will.  The estimates are that 55-60% of American adults do not have wills. That percentage is much higher among minorities.

My mother was a master worrier. She was pushing 100 when she died but started worrying about her final years twenty years before the end. Her refrain was: What will become of me?  Because she hadn’t planned to live as long as she did and spent her final years in the places that she most feared (assisted living, and finally, skilled nursing); she clearly hadn’t made a plan for what a percentage of us will face: outliving our money and, even more tragically, our interest in living.

Outliving one’s money is a big fear most retirees face.  Like my mother, we look at the charts and figure we might live until 84 or 86 (the respective life expectancy of men and women in the U.S. who reach the age of 65). But if we remember that bell-shaped curve we learned about in school, some die young (on the left side of the curve) and some are on the other side of the curve.  

Short of taking one’s own life at the exact moment the money evaporates, trying to make it all come out evenly is tricky.  Fortunately, my mother had a financial safety net (her kids and some VA benefits) but no safety net was in place for her lost interest in living.

Life is Not Lost by Dying

For some, life is too short; while for others, it’s too long.  American poet, Stephen Vincent Benet is credited with writing: “Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.”

In 1997, author Stephen Levine published his highly-regarded book: A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last.  Since its publication, numerous workshops and training programs have been designed using this book as their source material.  Because most of us go through life denying or ignoring the inevitable, Levine suggested that living each year as if it were our last helps us better examine our values, prioritize our activities and live life more fully.

Examining our lives and making plans accordingly are great tools to foster but planning takes us just so far.  Life can get in the way of the best laid plans and the universe has a way of saying: HA.  Remember John Lennon’s famous line: Life is what happens when you’re making other plans?

In our uncertain world, layoffs happen, people get sick, elections get rigged and fairness is a quaint notion.  Our plans must be tempered with flexibility and a sense of humor. As imperfect as it will be, may 2020 be your year to live.