The boogeyman is a construct many of know from childhood. Perhaps we feared the dark and what could be lurking in the corners, under our bed or in our closet.  As we entered adulthood, the boogeyman took other shapes and forms. Fear of financial downfall may have us imagining a boogeyman in our bank statements. Fear of losing love ones may mean the boogeyman hides in our imagination.

In the age of COVID-19, we have a collective boogeyman; and managing our anxiety around this unseen foe has become a full-time gig. We think we have it handled one day, and more alarming news sends us into a tail spin; this crisis is testing our mettle and our resilience.

Strengthen Your Resolve

The American Psychological Association has published a list of traits and habits that characterize resilience: the ability to bounce back from stress, disappointment and trauma. As a tribe, we’re a resilient lot; but some of us are more resilient than others.  Bounce-back skills can be cultivated at any stage of life, however. One of the important ways to build resilience is by connecting with others.

Connect with Others

This is the time to be together while keeping our distance. So much has been communicated about the importance of connecting using our available technologies.  Regardless of your “normal” level of connectedness, this is not the time to go underground.  What makes this crisis different from other crises you may have endured is that no one is spared the stress of COVID-19. We’re all in this together.

After months of not communicating, an introverted friend reached out last weekend.  In his words: “I was practicing social distancing before social distancing was cool.” On my first official day of sheltering-in-place, I had more phone calls, video chats and texts than I’ve had in a month. 

Our technology is offering us the opportunity to connect in ways that can replace face-to-face encounters. Whether you use FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Skype, Zoom or another platform, we can still “share” coffee, lunch or dinner with friends and family (albeit remotely) and check in regularly. Hanging out with folks has never been easier.

Maintain Perspective

We’re only in the early days of sheltering-in-place in the San Francisco Bay Area; many of us are complying while others throw caution to the wind. Like those battling addiction, we must take one day at a time. Once we start imagining the future, fears of the unknown kick in and we start making up stories. The worst- case scenarios keep us up at night.

Bad stuff has happened to us before: individually and collectively. Although this may be our first rodeo with a pandemic, the human race has endured health crises, famines, countless natural disasters and innumerable atrocities. A number people will perish, no question, and suffering will be widespread, but most of us will survive and our lives will return to a version of normalcy.  

Stay Informed

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard the expression: ignorance is bliss. Ignorance does have its place, especially where children are concerned. As adults, however, it is our responsibility to stay informed and be proactive.

Burying one’s head in the sand is a very temporary solution to bad news.  Eventually, reality replaces fantasy. Ignorance today means dealing with trauma later.

One of my neighbors has been avoiding the news and taking unnecessary risks for her age group during this pandemic.  Her blissful attitude can quickly turn to anguish if/when she falls ill or infects others (although she may not be aware of the latter consequence).  We have a responsibility to face the truth and stay informed.  As a friend says, let’s pull on our big girl/boy pants and get on with it.

Amp Up Self-Care

Self-care does not necessarily mean self-medicating. Once we survive this pandemic, we don’t want an uptick in rehab admissions nor do we want Overeaters Anonymous to be overwhelmed with new enrollees. Self-care behaviors are very personal and must be individually assessed. 

Walking has become a national past-time in the wake of closed gyms and fitness studios.  Those who can, pick up the pace and trot or run.  Yoga and meditation are helpful for some but not for others; drawing, painting and other artistic outlets are a great source of self-soothing and expression for those with talent or chutzpah; and praying can be calming if that’s your custom.

Whatever your proclivity, the experts agree that creating and maintaining a routine is important. As the days turn into weeks, our sanity requires a certain degree of scheduling and routine. 

Try Helpful Self-Talk

Psychologists agree that a little anxiety is not such a bad thing when dealing with a world-wide crisis like a pandemic. Perhaps you have seen images online or on television of throngs of revelers congregating on the beaches in Florida and elsewhere. These folks could use more anxiety. A little anxiety keeps us safe and keeps our community safe.

A lot of anxiety, however, is not a good thing. It causes us to become irrational, make bad decisions and to hoard toilet paper. Dr. Ethan Kross, psychology professor at the University of Michigan, has conducted extensive research on how to self-regulate and talk ourselves down. In an article published in the American Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,  Kross and his coauthors report their findings on psychological distancing.

Psychological distancing is what happens when a friend, coach or therapist helps us untangle our panic. To internalize this type of distancing, Dr. Kross and his colleagues recommend talking to oneself using the third person as in: “What’s best for Susan at this moment? How can Susan take care of herself?”  Taking the “I” out of the equation, helps create the psychological or emotional distance that produces calm.

Consider Supplements and Meds

When all else fails, anti-anxiety medication can help curb rumination. Such medication must be prescribed by a licensed therapist or medical professional. Over-the-counter supplements containing Vitamin D, B complex, turmeric, fish oil, magnesium, valerian root and chamomile have also been used to tamp down mild anxiety.

Although none of us can accurately predict when today’s crisis will abate, we do know that in a few years we will have a vaccine and a degree of immunity (known as herd immunity) to protect us against the COVID-19 virus.  By practicing anxiety management, you will have weathered this storm and prepared yourself for the next challenge.