On September 6, I posted a blog piece titled “Retire the Senior Moment” in which I suggested that phrases such as “senior moment” promote harmful stereotypes and expectations of aging.

In this piece, I also mentioned a friend who battled cancer. Although I did not say she lost her battle, a quote by the late comedian Norm Macdonald reminded me that viewing disease as a battle is inaccurate and unhelpful.

Macdonald, who died on September 14, took issue with the phrase, “lost a battle with cancer” that is frequently used when someone dies of or with cancer (as Macdonald did). Macdonald said, “I’m pretty sure that if you die, the cancer also dies at exactly the same time. That to me, is not a loss. That’s a draw.”

According to oncologist Shikha Jain, using war metaphors when talking about cancer puts a lot of pressure on cancer patients to fight rather than focus on a realistic treatment plan. Dealing with cancer is an emotionally and physically draining process, in itself, without the added stress of seeing it as a battle.

When scrutinizing the plethora of mindless phrases we use, most of us would agree that some are more or less innocuous than others. Certain phrases harken back to a dark past that we need not resurrect in our speech. Racist colloquialisms, for example, are widespread and have become so integrated into our lexicon that we hardly recognize them as racist.

Cringeworthy Colloquialisms

The term “grandfathered in” dates back to the Reconstruction era. When the 15th Amendment, which prohibited racial discrimination in voting, was ratified in 1870, various Southern states created voting requirements—such as literacy tests and constitutional quizzes—to keep Blacks from registering to vote.

Because many Southern whites could not have met these requirements, the “grandfather clause” was added to preserve the right to vote for those who were eligible prior to the 15th Amendment, namely white men.

Colloquial terms from slavery are ubiquitous. How often have you said that you were slaving away at the office or in the kitchen? Less common, you may have heard the expression “sold down the river” signifying a personal betrayal. Whatever betrayal this phrase is attempting to convey is NOTHING compared to the brutality that slaves separated from their families endured when they were “sold down the river.”

Few marginalized groups are exempt from being targets of cringeworthy colloquialisms. “No can do” is a mockery of the nonstandard English heard among Chinese immigrants in the early 20th century. We can easily replace this tainted term with a full sentence: “I can’t do that.”

Culturally Insensitive Phrases

The number of expressions that are offensive to indigenous people is overwhelming. We say someone is “on the warpath” or we need to “circle the wagons.” Both these expressions have more to do with Hollywood Westerns than history and reinforce the stereotype of Native Americans as savages.

We commonly speak of someone as being “low on the totem pole” or going “off the reservation.” Totem poles are sacred items that in no way reflect hierarchies. Going “off the reservation” typically refers to someone who speaks or acts improperly or unacceptably. This expression alludes to the time when Native Americans were forced to stay on reservations—going “off the reservation” is going out of bounds.

Another well-known colloquialism is “too many chiefs and not enough Indians.” Why appropriate another culture when we can easily say, “too many bosses and not enough workers?” In our attempt to be clever, we cross the line into cultural insensitivity.

This time of year, we may hear folks speak of an “Indian summer.” This seemingly benign phrase developed from the stereotype of Native Americans being chronically late—thus, a late summer is called an “Indian summer.”

Worse yet, is calling someone who gives and takes back property an “Indian giver.” Of course, this is exactly what our government did to Native Americans; i.e., gave land and took it back.

This colloquialism was likely a result of the white man’s ignorance about the Native American customs and culture of gift giving and of bartering. When a gift was not valued, it was expected to be returned so that someone else could benefit from it. Or if the item was given as a barter, something of equal value was expected in exchange.

And while we’re taking an inventory of culturally offensive terms, we need to eliminate the slur gyp from our vocabulary. Gyp, a shortened version of the word Gypsy, is used to convey being cheated or swindled. Gyp, then, clearly fosters the hurtful stereotype of the Romani people as being unscrupulous.

Ableist Language

Words such as psycho, lame, retarded and crippled used in casual conversation to describe certain attributes of behavior are microaggressions against those who identify with communities who have mental illness, physical or developmental disabilities. The phrase “fall on deaf ears” is widely used to convey an idea that was not considered or taken seriously. In this way, deafness and ignorance are equated.

Too Many to Name

Gendered language is so pervasive that recounting all the terms that promote sexist attitudes is exhausting. Over the years we’ve mostly replaced girl/lady with woman, policeman with police officer, stewardess with flight attendant and chairman with chairperson or, simply, chair. But many of us continue to use and accept the phrases “working mother” and “drama queen,” whereas we never hear the terms “working father” or “drama king.”

Language is fluid and evolving, not static. Just because a phrase or colloquial expression was or is commonly used and accepted doesn’t make it right, just or appropriate. Learning new skills and new language keeps us relevant and alert. By taking a language inventory and working on replacing phrases and words that may offend, we will stay sharp, stay kind and become wise.

When someone says, “You look great for your age,” I’m tempted to ask, “How would I look for a 40- or 50-year-old?” Pretty bad, I assume. If you want to compliment me, just say, “You look great!”