Masks and Male Fragility
“A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.”
—Pastor Michael Beckwith
You may have noticed that more men than women are going maskless from Trump on down (or up, depending on your viewpoint). Unscientific observations aside, many recent studies confirm our suspicions: American men are far less likely to wear masks than woman. One such study claims that the gender differences in mask-wearing is less significant in other countries.
Apparently, mask-hating men believe preventing others from possible COVID infection isn’t manly. Or perhaps, doing what you’re told isn’t manly. I can remember growing up with boys in my neighborhood, who covered their mouths with bandanas while playing cops and robbers. At the time, I thought wearing a mask was the epitome of manhood or, at least, boyhood.
Long before the #Me-Too movement, author Margaret Atwood was credited as saying: “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” Likely Atwood was thinking about date rape and domestic violence when she said this, knowing a woman who refuses a man’s sexual advances may have to pay for the rejection with her life.
The fragility of the male ego doesn’t just play out in the bedroom. Not long ago, I politely asked a man in the green space where I walk and jog to leash his dog (in compliance with park rules). The man went ballistic and peppered me with profanities. I walked to the nearest exit and left the park, fearing he would harm me because I insulted his “manhood,” i.e. his right to do what he damn well pleased.
How did men folk become so fragile? Some researchers, including Dr. Sharon Moalem point to genetics as a factor. Men are biologically more fragile, says the researcher and physician. She attributes this to the fact that women have an extra X chromosome, meaning they have 1000 more genes than men do at birth. Maolem claims females have greater resilience and immunity than do males. Although men have greater muscle mass than women, they are less able to withstand disease than are women.
Biological factors notwithstanding, statistically men don’t protect themselves as well as women do. Far more men fail to seek medical attention, have routine preventative care and request mental health services than do women. Men have nearly four times the suicide rate of women. During the COVID pandemic, they are also twice as likely to die of the virus.
Men are conditioned to not show concern or worry over their health and to not admit vulnerability. Their emotional fragility works against men’s own self-interest.
Just last week, an “I’ll-show-‘em” contrarian refused to don a mask on a recent American Airlines flight. He caused quite a stir before he was asked to deplane. He’s been banned on future American Airlines’ flights. He really showed them!
Clearly, men aren’t the only ones going maskless and not all men are defiant (thank you, my dear, caring brothers). Women can be seen not covering their faces, as well. Women have often followed the lead of males—be they partners or presidents. Regardless of their role models, women are not immune from being stubborn or obstinate.
I’m old enough to remember when seatbelts were not installed in cars and not required under law. I can also remember two high school friends going through the windshield one afternoon. Libertarians went crazy during the 60’s claiming the belts were ineffective, inconvenient and uncomfortable. My mother’s friends said they wrinkled their clothes. I know this sounds ridiculous seen through our current lens, but the debates were intense back then.
Although most Americans opposed seat belts in 1964, they became mandatory in 1968. As a group, we’re very resistant to change, seemingly valuing individual freedom over safety.
Today, 90% of Americans buckle up. If 90% of us wore face coverings, we would be able to contain this virus until a vaccine is developed. Yes, wearing a mask may be less comfortable than not wearing one. One of the memes being circulating captures the absurdity of the discomfort argument: If you think wearing a mask is uncomfortable, try a ventilator.
An important distinction exists between refusal to wear seat belts and refusal to cover one’s face during this pandemic, however. If you don’t wear a seat belt, you are endangering your own life; if you don’t wear a face covering, you’re endangering others’ lives, especially the lives of the most vulnerable in our population. Like it or not, we’re all part of a community. Being part of a community means protecting others— emotionally and physically.
Why someone (without psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies) would want to threaten others’ safety or sense of safety because they don’t feel like wearing mask is baffling. Psychologist Apryl Alexander said it best: “Masks don’t indicate fear, they signal compassion for others.”
Wearing is caring.