Spring Ahead
This is the time of year many of our New Year’s resolutions have gone the way of the dinosaur. Our commitment to exercise everyday got sidelined by the flu; our vow to eat more nutritious (low-cal) snacks gave way to cookies and chips; and our pledge to save more money fell apart with impulse buying and eating out with friends.
Fortunately, Spring is around the corner. According to researchers, this is the perfect time to break old habits and form new ones. But before we repeat the same mistakes and disappoint ourselves, here are some tips from the experts, who study how to change habits and avoid backsliding.
Be Reasonable
Unrealistic or overly-ambitious goals are the biggest obstacle in making changes. If increasing physical exercise is one of your goals and you haven’t done much in the past year or years, you’ll set yourself up for failure with a daily goal of exercising. Perhaps three times a week for thirty minutes at a time is more realistic.
Rarely have I met anyone on a weight-loss regime, who brags about losing a pound a month; and yet, this goal nets a 12-pound loss at the end of the year. As it turns out, this is way more than most dieters accomplish.
Outsmart Temptations
Over the years, I have found that if I wanted to go to the gym after work or after a meeting, I had to avoid going home first. Once I’m home, the effort to leave can feel immense. When I had a significant work commute, I always kept running shoes in the trunk of my car. (This came in handy when my car got stuck in an ice storm and I had to walk.)
If our gym or exercise studio is close to our home or work (or on the way from one to the other), we’re more likely to go there than if it’s on the other side of town.
Dr. Katherine Milkman coined the term temptation bundling as a technique to deal with guilty pleasures undermining self-discipline. Listening to music or podcasts while exercising is a common example of temptation bundling. Watching sitcoms or talk shows can be bundled with using a treadmill or stationary bike. Simply put, we satisfy one of our goals by pairing it with a pleasurable activity.
Dieters know that out-of-sight, out-of-mind is an important strategy for avoiding food temptations. Eliminating candy dishes on our desks and tables, and avoiding stocking our freezer with ice cream or pantries with cookies and chips are common practices. This is known as manipulating one’s environment.
My mother, a life-long dieter, practiced environment manipulation (although she didn’t label it as such). Her guilty pleasure was dark chocolate. Because she frequently entertained, she would buy boxed chocolates for guests and hide them from herself. Later in life this ruse didn’t work as well as it once did; periodically when guests arrived, she couldn’t remember where she stashed the chocolates.
Reward Yourself
The carrot works better than the stick if you’re trying to form a new habit. Beating yourself up if you backslide does little good (and even does harm) when you want to change a habit.
Few of us would condone toilet training children by chastising them when they have accidents. Most of know that praising the small steps toward mastering the skill of using a toilet is the smart and compassionate approach.
Even so, many of us treat ourselves very badly when we’re trying to break an old habit and learn another. We call ourselves lazy, undisciplined, good-for-nothing when we fall short of our goals or have “accidents.”
Choosing a reward that matters and doesn’t undermine our goals is important. Obviously, if losing weight is a goal, rewards shouldn’t involve food. Similarly, spending money on oneself isn’t a prudent reward for those trying to save money (unless the short-term goal was to save for a vacation –the vacation being the reward).
I must admit that I’m rather bad at incremental rewards. I postpone rewarding myself until I snatch the “gold ring.”
In her research, Kaitlyn Woolley, an expert in motivation and pursuing goals, found that giving immediate rewards increases the enjoyment of the task. Small rewards such as flowers, a walk or hike in a special place, a massage or a visit to a museum can help with motivation. The key is to find small rewards that are meaningful and aligned with one’s goals.
Practice Gratitude
I know, I had a hard time with this one, too. What the heck does gratitude have to do with losing weight or saving money? Gratitude has certainly been linked to happiness and serenity, but rather than promoting complacency (as many people believe), this feeling prompts us to take action.
In one study, researchers found that when people feel grateful, their sense of wellbeing increases and motivates them to make progress on their goals. Noticing and reflecting on what went well for you each day, then, can be the juice that helps you tackle the challenges that lie ahead.
“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow. Today is the right day to live.” ---Dalai Lama