My Future Self
When I think about my future self, she’s relaxed yet productive. She jogs longer and faster, drinks more water and doesn’t fret about things she cannot control. She’s kind, patient and has time for those in need.
This is the time of year when we start planning for our future selves. In our planning, we engage in magical thinking, otherwise known as future self-delusion. The reality is that without major effort, the habits that have plagued us in 2021 will follow us into 2022.
There’s something rather magical about the start of the new year—no wonder we are absorbed in a bit of magical thinking. The new year provides us a fresh start— but, as we’ll soon realize, everything stays the same unless we do the hard work of behavior change.
Examples of future self-delusion are everywhere (and don’t just happen at the start of the new year). Perhaps, like me, you’ve purchased a new pair of athletic shoes or joined a gym thinking that the new shoes or new venue would transform you into a jock. Fitness centers count on this brand of magical thinking resulting in club memberships skyrocketing in January.
Along with self-improvement goals, you may resolve to increase your productivity—believing you’ll surely have more time in the new year.
Future Time Slack
Many of us tend of overestimate the time and energy we will have in the future, which is why we commit to activities months or weeks in advance only to regret the commitment later. The tendency to believe that we’ll have more time in the future is known as future time slack.
One remedy for future time slack is to imagine the event to which you’re committing as happening the next day or the next week. For example, if you’re asked to host a fundraiser or speak at a gathering, how would you feel if the event were happening the very next day or even the next week?
If the request or event were to demand your immediate attention (and you’d likely say no way), then you might want to hit pause on your inclination to just say yes. Chances are, you’re not going to have more time or more energy in the future.
Overcommitted and Oversubscribed
What was I thinking? becomes a common refrain for those who overcommit. The proclivity to overfunction and overdo may be rooted in our unrealistic estimate of our future selves and the time we will have, and it could be complicated by a variety of emotional conditions.
Shoulding on ourselves “(I should accept this invitation.” “I should host another dinner party.” “I should go to this gathering.”) causes us to overcommit, as does a dose of the savior complex. Wanting to save the world, our friends and family quickly leads to overdrive.
And then there’s FOMO (fear of missing out). Confusing quality with quantity, some of us fill up our calendars with a whirlwind of activities that cause unnecessary stress. Oversubscribing to activities often contributes to anxiety or financial worries. It also prevents us from being fully present as we impatiently look forward to the next hit of dopamine.
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”
This quote by actor and writer Sean Patrick Flanery instructs us to think about our future selves with kindness and compassion. Instead of committing to future activities for which we have little time now, we can involve ourselves in activities that will improve physical, emotional, fiscal or spiritual health.
Just the other day, I realized that I agreed to attend a meeting during the only time period that allowed me to take a long walk. I alerted the meeting organizer that I would try to call into the meeting while on my walk, but, alas, the connection failed. The meeting attendees did not need my input—I wished I realized this before I committed my precious time. I’m hoping my future self will remember this incident.
As you start planning for your future self, you may want to consider these questions. What activities can you engage in today, this week, next month that will shape your future? What activities can you decline with a sincere and resounding ‘no’?
—Here’s wishing you and your future self a serene and gratifying new year!